"I WISH I could JUST stay home with the kids all day!"

I don't fight/argue with my husband often, but when we get into an argument it's about my frustration with him not helping me. Or sometimes money, because we are broke jokes. Anyway, my typical day consists of:

Waking up around noon, since either my husband or the baby has kept me up til 4 am, and my sleeping schedule is really out of whack. We then get the kids ready to take daddy-o to work by 1:45. This is usually a huge battle, it includes getting the baby into a nice clean diaper and into her carseat only to have her poop up her back 2 minutes after we needed to be on the way but aren't yet. So she needs a complete change. While this is happening my 4 year old is still looking for her shoes and coat upstairs when they're really buried in her room downstairs, or in my own room under the bed or something. We then have to call her back downstairs to get her stuff on, while she has become consumed by the ever-running TV or computer up there. When we are finally heading out the door, my husband insists on letting the dogs inside. So we gate them in the hallway outside of our room so they're not running amuck unsupervised through the roommate's portion of the house. After we finally get him to work, I drive back home and try to inventory the things I have to drag back into the house. The baby in her carseat, the 4 year old, sometimes the diaper bag that is a trip all in itself some days. A drink if I stopped to grab one on the way, my phone, and any other knick knacks that need to come in. When we pull into the driveway, the dogs are back outside because they have escaped their hallway prison and gone upstairs where they're the biggest inconvenience after the cat. So I let them back in. They go down and wait by the door to my bedroom while I try not to kill myself going over the gate with the carseat and baby. If I survive that, I open the door and try to dodge my husband's banana chair which resides in the middle of my floor since my room is too tiny for ANYTHING. I set the car seat on my bed, and try to get on the bed myself so I can get the baby out before she starts crying. I pile toys around her on the bed and start looking for the dog bowls because my dogs are convinced they are starving to death and have begun trying to tear up the bag of cat food. I finally get them fed and by now the baby is crying so I lay down to nurse her. At this point one dog is finished with his food and I have to constantly yell at him to leave the other dog's food alone, which disturbs the baby and she'll pop off and look at me like I just killed someone. Right about now the four year old comes in and starts begging me for whatever she can think of, so as soon as I feel like baby's had enough I pack them all upstairs and get Briston some cereal or whatever she's asking for. I take this opportunity to make myself a hot pocket or whatever there is in the freezer. I take this downstairs to eat it to find my dogs have gotten into anything they possibly could. I brush it off and try to eat while I fight off the always-starving baby. At this point I hunt for a baby spoon and go wash it to feed the kiddo some applesauce or sweet potatoes or anything that isn't bananas or strawberries. Feeding the baby is often the calmest part of the day. Usually now I try to check my facebook or do a doodle or whatever I can between playing with the baby since she's over her toys. We do this for a good few hours before I lay down to nurse her and try to get her to take a nap. Sometimes this is easy and other times it's really really hard. Regardless she sleeps for about 20 minutes to a half hour before Briston comes in and wakes her up. So I spend a little more time getting the baby to sleep for Briston to come in and wake her again and again. Eventually I give up and play with the baby until around 8pm. I start warming up the car at about 8:30 so I can go get my husband around 9. This time varies greatly. I go through all the morning routine again, only this time by myself and finally pick up my husband. I better not be late though because he "Don't like to sit outside and wait." but god forbid I'm early because if we sit there too long a crying fest breaks out in the back seat. Once he gets in the car and we start driving home, both girls are out cold, and he doesn't understand why I'm so exhausted and frustrated when he's in the greatest mood ever.

So, honey. That's what I do all day. There are even days when I make an attempt to clean, and even some days when I'm successful! I would even make dinner if I didn't have to cook for 10 or not cook at all, but that's a story for a day when that's frustrating me. So, stay home with the kids, PLEASE?!? I'll go to work for you, and you can even be late picking me up!

Anyway, this isn't like a stab at my hubby, he really does try sometimes and I love him tons, I just wish he could understand sometimes.

Anyone else ever feel like that??

Sweet Dreams.

My Baby Isn't Getting Enough Milk! - My answer to this common question.

Well, Tomorrow my little Oaklie turns 6 months old. Not only does that mean I have somehow managed to keep another living thing alive for that 6 months, which is a pretty worthy accomplishment if you ask me, it also means that my baby has been exclusively breastfed for 6 whole months!

So, for this big milestone, I am going to do a post about the most common question I get about breastfeeding. The education surrounding this subject seems to be sketchy at best, so I am going to do my best to share my knowledge with all of you! Sit back and enjoy the ride!

One more thing before we get started...

Breastfeeding is HARD.

Let me be the first to stress this point.  If you're planning on taking on this commitment, please know that it is not a cakewalk, but it IS worth it.

I spent the first 3 months of my baby's life with her attached to my boob. Not just every 2 hours, not every 45 minutes, like ALL day. 24 hours straight, 7 days a week. I spent those 3 months in bed, with my baby latched on the whole time. That is just how it is, and baby wanting to be at the breast 24 hours a day does NOT mean that you have a supply issue. Weather baby spends 24 hours attached to you, or just eats every few hours it's NORMAL, and it DOES get easier. Those first few months are HARD.

"My baby isn't getting enough milk!" 

Okay, this is something I hear on a daily basis, as either a current problem, or a reason that someone quit. I hear this most from newer mothers who's babies are still in the first few months of life. Scientists estimate that a mere 5% of mothers REALLY suffer from low supply, so what's the deal then? Why does every woman think they suffered low supply? The answer is really just lack of education. When our mothers were feeding most of us, infant formula was a new and exciting concept. It was not widely known that breastfeeding was better for our babies, and many thought that the formula was even better for babies than mother's milk! Because of this, many of our own mothers cannot give us the support we need to continue to breastfeed, and many doctors are just as undereducated.

This thought often pops into a new mother's head when she has just nursed her baby, it's been a good 40 minutes so they unlatch the baby. Mere moments later, the baby is crying again. After a diaper change, making sure baby is comfortable, lots of checking and double checking, baby is still crying! At this point momma wonders, 'Can my baby still be hungry? He just ate for an hour, how is this possible?' Now at this point, mom may put the baby back to the breast, when baby settles again at the breast Mom's fear is confirmed by the fact that the baby is now happily eating again. Maybe instead of immediately nursing the baby, she gives a good friend or her mother a call. Her mother tells her to give her a bottle, because 'You're not making enough' or 'you're not enough for baby.' This also confirms this fear, and it's not our parents' fault, thats just what they know. I am a firm believer that when you know better, you do better, so I am here to help you do better. Baby wanting the breast all the time is NORMAL. You will feel like it's all you do. Cherish it, because they will never need you the same way again, and you will miss it.

Now, if you ended up giving your baby formula when they came off the breast still wanting more, you may actually have a supply issue. Generally though, it's your own fault. I'm not trying to be harsh, but it's true. Breastfeeding is a supply and demand process. If a bottle is meeting the demand, then the breast will reduce production to make sure you're not making too much. The body is not good for storing milk, so it will not make more then baby needs. By giving a bottle, you are tricking your body into thinking that baby needs less milk. I usually recommend a breastfeeding weekend when this has happened. You lay in bed with baby all weekend, and challenge yourself to keep baby latched on as much as possible. This usually will fix the problem, and restore supply.

There is one more question I see quite often, that's somewhat related to low supply. It goes something like this... "When I pump I only get 2 ounces, I know my baby needs more than that. My supply must be drying up."   This question has a 2 part answer. One, NO pump is as efficient as a baby. Baby can, and does get a great deal more milk from the breast then a pump can. Two, babies drink differently from a bottle, and typically eat more then they would from the breast. That can make it appear that your baby needs more then you can supply. Most of the time this is not the case. It's also another reason that it's hard to rely exclusively on the pump to maintain supply.

Now in the event you really are suffering from a supply issue, there are numerous things you can do. Mother's Milk Tea, Fenugreek, Lactation cookies, and medications are just a few of those. Please be sure to speak with your doctor about taking any kind of supplement before starting. If you have any more questions about this, feel free to leave a comment or drop me an e-mail.

Sweet Dreams! 

Welcome to Pretty Pink Babies, to you and me!

Well, I've started a couple of blogs in my time, but none of them have been very successful. Most of the time I just lose interest and forget about them, so I am hoping this doesn't happen with this one. So, to celebrate my new blog, and my youngest daughter turning 6 months old on the 11th, I decided to try again. This time, I am going to start off with the stories of the births of my girls, and the reasons I will never have a baby in a conventional hospital again.  Just as a disclaimer, there is a lot about breastfeeding in the next bit of this.

Briston's Story

From the time I found out I was pregnant the first time, I knew I wanted to breastfeed.  I was due December 6th, 2009. At my appointment that day, my doctor checked me and told me that I was still completely closed, and we made an appointment for the 9th. When we went in that day, I had been up all night, uncomfortable and HATING that I was still pregnant. I wasn't feeling great so I didn't eat before going. My doctor decided to run a non-stress test on the baby. They put me in a small room with a monitor, where I had to hold a little remote and push a button every time I felt her move. At this time of day, I knew I wouldn't get many kicks, and not eating before made it even less likely. I told them this, and they offered me some juice and graham crackers. My doctor wasn't satisfied by Briston's lack of movement, so he sent me off for an induction. I was so happy that it would finally be over! My labor was fairly quick and uneventful. it was only 8 hours long, and my baby was born at 11:30 pm.  She was happy, healthy, and a great nurser from the start.

My only complaint was that they would come in, and take my baby when I was sleeping. I didn't know how long she had been gone when I got up. They were giving her formula every time they would take her, even though I stressed to them that I wished to breastfeed. They would tell me things like "She must still be hungry because she is rooting" and "Don't be afraid to supplement."  "Nipple confusion is a myth." and the very worst "Since you just have colostrum, giving her formula now won't hurt your supply." These were NURSES, and I was 18 years old! I had no idea that they were feeding me lies and sabotaging my breastfeeding relationship with my daughter. Briston just got lazier and lazier, and had trouble latching from all the bottles. I look back now, and wish I would have refused them, told them to leave my baby alone, and let us do what nature intended us to do. I don't know if it would have mattered, they did it anyway with my second baby. The night after we got home, Briston cried and cried. She was hungry. Those nurses had overfilled her with formula, and ruined everything. After hours of fighting her to try and get her to take the breast and sleep, my husband gave her a bottle, and she slept 6 hours. The crying had exhausted us, and I still cried for a good hour after. I felt worthless that I couldn't do the most natural thing in the world. That I couldn't feed my baby. We tried for 2 months, she would latch but was very lazy about it, and would fall asleep without filling herself. She would wake up mad, and the fight would begin again. At about 2 months old, we started supplementing Briston with formula. We were living in the family room of my father-in-law's trailer. His 2 brothers lived there also, so my daughter and I were the only girls in the house! This made me very uncomfortable, and pumping was a nightmare. It was not a very breast-friendly place to be.
I regret the decision I made at that time to stop breastfeeding Briston. I regretted it every day, and even tried to go back, but by then Briston loved her bottle. It was easy, and faster and she was fuller longer. My supply had dropped so low, and she wanted nothing to do with it. After she started full on rejecting the breast, I gave up completely. Things were fine, and she remained happy and healthy, but I never stopped regretting it. I felt robbed of that extra special relationship.

Oaklie's Story!

November 2012. I found out I was pregnant again! We were much more stable, Briston was nearly 3 by then. Again I was determined to breastfeed this baby. I drowned myself in research, and never stopped learning about what I should do, and how I could encourage my baby and myself to stick with it this time. My little family moved into our own apartment about halfway through my pregnancy, and things were going very well. I went into labor July 11th 2013 at 3 am. My baby was born at 11:30 am, after a very easy and uneventful labor and delivery. Her name was Oaklie, she was perfect and amazing, and looked just like her big sister! Unfortunately, her big sister didn't even get to meet her until much later in the day. They whisked Oaklie away from us mere minutes after she was born. There seemed to be nothing wrong with her, she nursed well that first time, and her apgar was perfect.

They told us they were taking her to run tests and let her daddy give her a bath. About 20 minutes later, a nurse entered and told us that Oaklie's blood sugar was "a little low", and asked permission to give her a bottle. I declined, telling her that if Oaklie was hungry she could bring her back to nurse some more. The nurse then told me that if I declined the bottle, they would have to give her IV fluids to get the sugar up. I was livid, but finally agreed to let them give her a bottle. By then I was moved into my room, and there I waited for my baby. My husband was in and out of the room, they had finally let him give her the bath, and told him how to get in and out of the nursery to see her. Every time he came back in, I asked him what was going on. He would shake his head, or tell me he didn't know why they would not bring her back to me. I would ask every nurse what the problem was, they told me there was nothing wrong, I would have my baby soon. After a few hours I could walk again, and the first place I walked to was that nursery. I knocked, they let me in and let me hold my darling baby girl. I asked if I could nurse her, they told me that they were not allowing her to eat at that point. The on-call pediatrician then introduced himself to me, and I hated him from the moment I saw him. He had an air about him that put my gaurd 10 feet tall. I did not want him interacting with my baby, but I had no choice. He told me that Oaklie had a problem with her heart, and they were keeping her on the monitor to make sure she was okay. He wouldn't tell me anything else, and started sending Echo results to Primary Children's hospital to have them offer their opinion on her. They sent him reports that said her heart was normal, and the arrhythmia would resolve on it's own. He continued to insist on sending more and more echo results, and recieved the "Normal" diagnosis every time. FINALLY, after something like 6 hours they let my baby come back into my room, and Briston was able to meet her baby sister.

But it wasn't over yet. They told me that she could stay with me "for now" but they would be taking her back for testing through the night. I finally settled down to sleep around midnight, and by the time I woke up, my baby was gone again and the horrible pediatrician was calling me on my room phone to tell me that my baby's oxygen had mysteriously dropped in the night, and she would be staying in the NICU.

 Now, I really think that was a total lie to be honest. I don't think this happened. When I asked to see the record, they told me they didn't keep it. Whatever. They came in with Oaklie so we could follow her to the NICU. There, I was allowed to come in when I pleased, nurse, whatever. It seemed fine, they told me they would call me on my room phone so I could rest and feed Oaklie when she was hungry. They did, a couple times. My ob was walking through the NICU at one point, saw me, and asked why I was there. I explained that Oaklie was in there, and when he asked me why, I didn't have an answer so he turned to our nurse. She told him that she was there for a suspected infection. My doctor seemed confused and asked me if my water had broken long before she came, and then answered himself. "No, I broke your water like 20 minutes before she came." He seemed confused, and that's when I got really mad. I told the nurse I wanted to speak to the NICU pediatrician as soon as he was available. She promised she would call when he got in, and she did. He told me that they had run a chest x-ray on Oaklie, and that she had "slight cloudiness" in her lungs. There was no infection, but they "just wanted to be careful and sure before sending her home." He told me it would be 5 to 7 days. Those 7 days had to be some of the worst in my life. 

I drove to the hospital every 2 hours almost the whole time. I would tell the nurse that she needed to call me when Oaklie woke up, and they almost never did. I decided to start going in on my own every 2 hours, and at least half the time they were getting ready to put a bottle in her mouth. I thank my lucky stars every day that she wasn't premature. I don't know how parents go through that for longer then I did. It's pure hell. 

My mother had taken time off to watch Briston for me while I was having the baby. My poor big girl was absolutely traumatized by this experience. She had nightmares, and told my mom in tears that her dad and I were never coming to get her, and that her baby sister had died. She believed that her sister was dead. I was so torn on weather I would go try to maintain my relationship with Oaklie or go assure Briston that her sister was fine, and mom and dad weren't going anywhere. I think that was the worst part of the whole experience. Thankfully, my dad called me the Sunday after Oaklie was born, and asked if he could take her camping with the rest of my family. I agreed and she had a wonderful time.

Finally after so long, we were able to take my baby home, and she has had absolutely no issues since.

So, in the event we decide to have more children, we will be doing so in a birthing center, or in the comfort of my own home. This whole ordeal has led me to hate hospitals. 

Any mommies that have had children in the NICU, I may have only felt a fraction of the pain you feel, for instance if your baby was there for a very long time, or sick. You mommies are in my thoughts, and for the most part it does get better. I am very thankful for the technology these days, that help save lives, and for the doctors and nurses that actually care for their patients, and not just about the check they get at the end of the week. I'm happy to answer any questions anyone may have, and I am a good listener if you just need to vent. 

Sweet Dreams.